Pun-based racing at its finest.
Plastic-wrapping someone to the roof of their car and forcing them to hold a bullhorn repeating the phrase "I'm a terrible driver, I'm sorry" at max volume is not your typical motorsport punishment. However, at the 24 Hours of Lemons, it fits like a glove.
Much like any other racing series, Lemons features specially prepped automobiles lapping around a racetrack. However, beyond that, the details tend to get a bit fuzzy, as Tuner Fan witnessed at the recent Yokohama Arse-Freeze-Apalooza at Sonoma Raceway in Northern California.
Origin Story
For those readers who may have missed Tuner Fan's coverage of the Subaru WRX-swapped Chevy Corvair, it's worth revisiting the origin of the 24 Hours of Lemons. Founded in 2006, Lemons seeks to minimize the costs of motorsport while maximizing the fun factor, with the official Lemons website boldly proclaiming that "racing's not just for rich idiots, racing's for all idiots (this includes you)."
To this end, entries are limited to a $500 budget, including the cost of the car and any modifications made, with the exception of the requisite safety gear, wheels, brakes, and tires. In fact, the worse the car looks, the better, as each entry is scrutinized in order to determine any potential Bullshit Factor (BSF) - that is, if a car is believed to be above the $500 limit, it's given lap penalties.
If a team purchases something above the $500 limit, they can offset the price by selling parts from the car through "Scavenger Sales." The 24 Hours of Lemons also employs a "just and fair system of bribes for the judges" for those competitors hoping to bend the rules a bit in their favor.
The race itself is an endurance event - most laps wins. Over the years, the 24 Hours of Lemons has grown considerably, and now hosts events at racetracks across the U.S., including highlights like Thunderhill, Buttonwillow, Sebring, Road Atlanta, Road America, and several others. Well over a hundred cars can be on track at once, with the recent event at Sonoma attracting nearly 150 entries.
The Gasoline-Fueled Circus
Tuner Fan arrived late Saturday, and immediately bumped into championship-winning racing driver and automotive personality Randy Pobst, who was on hand to sit in for a few stints with the Whatever Racecar No. 745 Volvo station wagon. Having a pro like Pobst in the hot seat is undoubtedly a major boon for any team, but unfortunately, Randy ended up shearing a ball joint during his stint, resulting in steering loss and forcing the Volvo back into the pits after just a few corners.
Luckily, Whatever Racecar managed to fix the issue, and Pobst got back on track to once again slice through traffic before the end of the session.
As the sun dipped behind the western hills and the ambient temperature plummeted, Saturday's session ended, a stream of cars pulling back into the pits in varying states of health. With the track cold, the post-race blitz to fix lingering issues began. Teams sought to scrounge requisite parts in the traditional "beg, borrow, or steal" fashion, including Eyesore Racing and the No.111 Mazda Miata, which needed a new wheel bearing.
Affectionally nicknamed "Frankenmiata," the No. 111 Eyesore Racing Mazda is a consistent 24 Hours of Lemons front-runner, and for good reason. The Eyesore Racing team is composed of several whip-smart automotive engineers, including Mazda R&D Vehicle Development Engineer Dave Coleman. Coleman previously served as Engineering Editor at Sport Compact Car magazine, and has just the right skillset for Lemons, both with a wrench and behind the wheel.
Indeed, there's a consistency to the kind of individual that chooses to run in the 24 Hours of Lemons - an interest in engineering, a passion for motorsport, and a weird sense of humor. Good people, all around.
Later, competitors congregated for a potluck dinner, hosted by the Ranger Road veteran group. Ranger Road Motors was running all weekend with a Volkswagen Golf GTI, which had been modified with hand controls and was piloted by disabled vets looking for a dose of adrenaline.
As the night wore on and the libations took effect, Tuner Fan walked the pits, watching as the teams wrenched away between jokes and stories of the day's exploits. Some hardy souls chose to camp out right there on site, partying with their fellow competitors in a weird scene of grease, costumes, and miscellaneous car parts.
Swimming Through The Frigid Fog
Sunday morning broke with a dense layer of fog covering the track, resulting in an extended delay to the launch of Race Session II.
However, the delay gave us a chance to walk the grid and check out all the cars, including the No. 15 Team Apathy Honda N600. Fitted with homemade fender flares and a full Saab 900 drivetrain transplant, this early '70s kei car is dripping with clever tricks and cool little details. Stay tuned for a full feature coming soon.
After about 30 minutes, the fog delay was lifted, and the field of nearly 150 rust buckets fired up their engines and trundled out on track for a flying start. As the green flag flew, the drivers got their heads down and went to work.
While the 24 Hours of Lemons might seem like a big joke (it absolutely is), the drivers are definitely pushing. Make no mistake - these folks want to win, and if victory can be had in a gutted econobox covered in pink fur, then all for the better.
Collisions and off-track excursions are the norm for any motorsport event, and the 24 Hours of Lemons is no different. Safety, however, remains a priority, and the world-class personnel at Sonoma Raceway kept things moving smoothly - even if the cars themselves weren't exactly world-class.
After two days and more than 13 hours of racing, the Yokohama Arse-Freeze-Apalooza came to a close, with the No. 34 BMW 528E of Stolen Trailer Racing securing the win with 312 laps completed, followed by the Eyesore Racing Frankenmiata in second place, trailing by 1 minute, 15.5 seconds. YouMadBro? Racing was third with 311 laps completed.
Unsurprisingly, the 24 Hours of Lemons also awards multiple ancillary trophies, including the Index of Effluency, given this time to the No. 74 Plymouth Satellite of Ran When Parked Racing, recognized as the vehicle most unlikely to finish at all, but somehow still able to complete a reasonable number of laps.
Despite the puns, the 24 Hours of Lemons is real racing, paired with a lighthearted attitude and inviting atmosphere that makes it unique among amateur racing series. For those enthusiasts looking to try wheel-to-wheel motorsport without spending a fortune, this is a fantastic place to start. Especially if you're into pink fur.
Stay tuned, because we have plenty more 24 Hours of Lemons content headed down the pipe.
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